emotional roller coaster

Today I am more focused on the emotional aspect of this disease. The emotional toll this takes on us is just as bad as the physical. For me at least, this has been an extreme emotional roller coaster- at times, I'd even say disaster. I went through so many years not having any clue what was wrong with me- then diagnosis- to relief of having diagnosis- to questions- to anger- to confusion- then a really wonderful, good day- and then back to square one. At one point, I had to force myself to STOP the googling about Lyme and it's treatments. I was overwhelming myself with all of the different perspectives and had no clue what to make of it all. I've learned after about 7 months of treatment, to really listen to my body. I have two amazing doctors who really care about me and my outcome and LISTEN. So many wonderful people have come into my life right at the 'right' time and I know I'm on my right path to physical wellness. But we have to make sure the emotional wellness is there too. Therapy has helped me some. My family is very supportive. My boyfriend has yet to tire of me. But really, I have to be in charge of my happiness. Meditation, bubble/epsom salt baths, and yoga seem to help in centering me and bringing me back to the present moment. I've found I get so lost in the "when I'm well again, I'll do it," I forget to actually live in each moment and appreciate it for what it is. Deep, huh. Hah. 
When I'm in pain, I'm the first to admit it- I can get MEAN. I do not like to be touched. I do not like to be asked if you can get me something. I zone out completely and just simply try to get through it. I imagine that can be really hard on those who love me. I just need space, and I always come out of it.


I'm going to finish this with a 'recipe' for a good, detoxing bath:


2 cups Epsom salt
1/4 cup of baking soda
1/2 cup hydrogen peroxide


I always add some essential oils- lavender and peppermint are my favorite. Enjoy! :)